5:30am – I had a good night’s sleep and woke up with a full bladder. Both boys were still asleep, so I tried to quietly get off the bed. While doing so, I accidentally wet myself a bit. It did not surprise me because during last trimester, when the head is down, this occasionally happens. I got back into bed to sleep another round, but while trying to find a comfortable position, I wet myself again. „Not again“ I thought and rolled my eyes, very annoyed and tired of being pregnant. While taking off my underwear, I took a sniff, not even knowing exactly what I was doing. But I had a slight feeling it might not be pee. And it did smell different, sweet and neutral. But the amount of liquid was not even close to what happened three years ago during my first pregnancy, when the water broke big times, like in the movies. The amount this time was not even enough to leave any wet stains on the bed. So I was not entirely sure, but was kind of hoping labour would start.

 

A bit excited, I tried to get back to bed. I wrote my sister, midwife Antonia and photographer that I have the feeling my water broke a bit and that baby might come today. At the same time I researched how amniotic fluid smells like but that did not really help me.

About ten minutes later, I started getting period cramps. Something was happening down there and I could feel very light contractions. I then knew that my gut feeling was right – it’s starting! This could not be a coincidence.

I happily breathed in and out like I have practiced the last couple weeks infrequently. But I wanted to use my tens machine as early as possible to get the best possible effect, so I woke up my husband Alex at 6:30am for him to help me apply the electro-pads. We rushed to the other room but accidentally woke up our toddler. I explained to them what’s happening and we decided to have a big breakfast first. Alex went to the kitchen and made sourdough bread with avocado and eggs for us. I was eating and breathing through my contractions that came regularly every -/+ 7 minutes, leaning on the sofa and circling my hips. It was a wonderful morning, very quiet and peaceful. The contractions were easy to handle.

 

8:30am – The grandmas and my sister arrived at our house to take care of my firstborn Rafael. Not knowing how long the opening phase would take, I wanted to preserve my energy and relax as much as I could. I longed for quietness, no movement and so I went back to bed. I laid on the side with my pregnancy pillow in between my legs, turned on my meditation and focused on my breathing technique. Tens machine in one hand and a comb to squeeze during contractions in the other to help relieve pain. Whenever I lost focus, contractions felt much worse. When I was in the zone, I was even able to doze off during breaks. We called Antonia to tell her about our progress. Contractions came regularly between 4-7 minutes and lasted around 60-90 seconds. I was still able to talk in between, so I felt comfortable to stay at home for a bit longer.

Two hours passed, I was managing well. Our birth photographer arrived and Alex called our midwife again. This time, he did all the talking as my contractions came every 3-4 minutes and I could not break focus. He preferred to make our way to the birth center now, rather than too late when contractions become stronger. Just before we were about to leave, one really strong contraction hit me and I lost control and cramped in pain. Quickly my mom helped me get into the back of the car, where I didn’t even bother to sit because any pressure on the bum would be unbearable to me. I kneeled and hugged the headrest, moving my body during surges. Luckily the drive was only five minutes. When we arrived, my midwife was welcoming us and showed us the birth room. Because of the interruption, my contractions were becoming uncomfortable and I wanted to relax again. I tried the same position in bed like at home, my midwife checked baby’s heart rate and baby was doing well. But a few minutes later, another really strong surge hit me and I was overwhelmed once again. “Antonia, it hurts so bad”, I cried out to my midwife. I started to feel lots of pressure in the back, just as the labor of my firstborn, where I completely lost control and had to get an epidural. At this point, I was not sure if I could endure this kind of pain.

 

11:10am – Only 25 minutes after we arrived at the birth center, contractions intensified, coming every 1,5 mins and lasting 60 sec. The pressure was incredibly strong and had me doubting myself for a second. I didn’t know what to do with myself. „Dare to move, Tram. You have to change position! Believe in yourself“, my midwife encouraged me. Even though I felt like succumbing to the pain and just lay there and let it run over me, I gathered all my strength to get up on all fours. Since my surges were rapidly coming one after another in only 1,5 mins, I barely had time. It took a few contractions to finally be in the right position and figuring out what worked. Being on all fours, moving my hips right and left, up and down and having Alex apply pressure on my back and hips were the key. During the latent phase, being still felt right. Now in active labor or the transition phase, my body urged me to move. During every contraction I pressed the boost button of my tens machine and squeezed the comb like no tomorrow. It was a small comfort to know that my contractions were „only“ a minute long (could’ve been 90 sec…).

For an hour, I powered through every contraction, imagining opening myself and keeping a positive „I can do this“ attitude. The pressure below was so powerful. „I can’t help it but press“, I told my midwife. „Trust your body, do what it tells you“, she said. It was so different to my first birth where everyone in the hospital urged me not to press when I was not completely open. It felt so empowering not to follow any hospital procedures – only listen to my body. And also it felt great to have a birth team by your side that trusts you. My midwife was watching us in the back, documenting and letting us do our thing uninterrupted. For this birth it was important to me not to be forced to do any vaginal check ups, ctg e.g. that would break my focus. And so I was not entirely sure of my progress, I only felt the intensity and went with it.

„Is it ok, if I do a vaginal check up?“, my midwife suddenly asked. „Yes, but no numbers“, was all I could say.

After the check up, she said: „Tram, your baby wants to be born!“

12pm – Only one hour after we arrived at the birth center, my midwife noticed I made sounds that indicated a press reflex, which is why she suggested to do a check up. When she said the baby wants to be born, indirectly telling me my cervix is 10cm open, I immediately said: „Water!“, telling them I wanted to have a water birth. But unfortunately it would’ve taken at least another 20mins to fill up the pool, so I decided to push that wish aside and just go for it, wanting this to be over soon. No one thought that it would go this fast. I was mentally prepared for another long labor like my first, wanted to try out different positions and methods. We didn’t even get to eat anything, because my contractions came back to back. At the end I found my position which worked and I stuck to it until the end.

It took one contraction for her forehead to emerge, another for her head to surface and a third for her body to be pushed out. Within 6 minutes she was there, lying in front of me, still connected to me with the umbilical cord. She was crying and I took her in my arms and held her. I made it, it was unbelievable.

My birth team helped me get comfortable in bed and we enjoyed our first minutes as a family. No rush, no pressure – we cut the cord hours later, one of the midwifes prepared warm soup for us, we stayed in that room for three hours, taking pictures, cuddling, breastfeeding. My placenta came only 15 minutes later and we were able to take a close look at this fascinating organ that I grew inside of me. Even though it was a fast delivery, I only had a minimal tearing, which my midwife decided was not worth stitching up and would heal by itself.

3pm – after a short shower, we packed everything up and drove back home where the rest of the family was awaiting us. It was a bit surreal, considering how fast it went. We bought some birthday cake and celebrated Esther‘s birth together. And this was the start of our family of, now, four.

By sharing this story, I really hope that more women can also have a positive and empowering birth experience like I did. Thanks to everyone involved for this wonderful birth.